everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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