it was like eating out sand paper
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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