I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
