I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
