where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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