She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
