Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
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