I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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