He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
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