he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
