he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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