I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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