I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
