I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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