Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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