i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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