I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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