please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
