When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
