someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
