Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
