the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
