Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
