My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Text me some of your sweat
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