The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
