I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i wish my penis had a tongue
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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