I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
