Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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