Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
