we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I have surprise drugs for everyone
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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