My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize