They should really pass out barf bags in church
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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