All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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