Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
