Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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