I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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