Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
