I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
