1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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