i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
