Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
