He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Did you pee in the oven last night??
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
