listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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