with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Drunk is a universal language darling
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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