I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Randomize
