I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
