Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
