he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
