After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
