I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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