Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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